Monday, September 05, 2005

A Walk in the Woods a.k.a. Exercising My Demons

I wish the demons could be exorcized, but I’m afraid that all they got was a good workout. We are on our "active" vacation (tie-breaker tennis match, hiking Mount Rogers, cycling the Virginia Creeper). And even though I’m a little sore this morning it has been a good time. However, earlier in the weekend, I was in a funk. I think my brain’s defense mechanisms had finally broken down in the face of the Katrina disaster. The images I’ve seen and the articles I’ve read have been horrifying. I read an article one morning that put me over the edge. It was about the abysmal conditions at the SuperDome and the depravity that some humans beings had resorted to. During my walk in the woods, I began processing some of the thoughts and emotions that I was struggling with.

Of course, I am angry that disaster planning for Katrina has seemed so poor and disaster relief so late. I want to yell at God and say fix it. Can’t you see people are suffering? Go and open people’s eyes to the good they could be doing or to the bad they should stop. But then I realize that would take away our gift of free will.

What really scares me is when I imagine if it had been me and my son stuck in New Orleans. What if the conference we had attended last week had been there? What if we were stuck in the SuperDome? My demons have reminded me that I could probably sink to depths unknown to protect my son.

What has struck me about New Orleans is how fast order has broken down and chaos has ensued. Just a matter of days. Is our orderly existence really so fragile or is it virtual reality? I think the demons must be at work here. I’m not talking about little red guys with horns, I’m talking about denial in the face of disaster, the scales on our eyes that show us only half-truths, and the blinders we put on to get through the day unscathed by reality. Because of our free will we are capable of almost anything.

I’ve seen a rich man beg
I’ve seen a good man sin
I’ve seen a tough man cry
I’ve seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I’ve heard an honest man lie
I’ve seen the good side of bad
And the down side of up
And everything between
~ What It’s Like (Everlast)

Filed in:

No comments: